An Iced Toddy, Please

by Payel

After sifting through a few different shoddy internet connections, I decided to settle for Cartel’s, which was probably the worst of them all. But with their addictingly delicious drinks and urban, industrial-chic interior, they’ve turned me into a regular customer. I make sure to drink at least one cup of coffee there per day. If I stay there long enough, which I usually do since the couches in the back are more conducive to being productive than the couch at home, I’ll even order some more drinks. Sometimes, I’ll even supplement a cup or two more from Dutch Bros, a neighboring sub-par coffee place. I’m pretty sure I consume more caffeine than I do water. Don’t be surprised if my next post is about how I’ve been dealing my newfound kidney infection (Upon spending an hour actually reading up on caffeine-related health risks, I have learned that overconsumption does not explicitly lead to a kidney infection). In fact, I looked at my online money map the other day and noticed that I went over my designated coffee budget by 1062%. Obviously, with my caffeine-infected judgment, this only meant I had to raise my budget for coffee. And that’s exactly what I did. Anyway, I started this post intending to write about something completely different, but after I asked the barista today if I should try something new, and he said “Nah,” and just handed me an iced toddy, I realized that my coffee addiction needed attention. So, friends, please intervene and help.